


Ice Cream Delight

by GoneRampant



Category: RWBY
Genre: Basically everyone's a bad guy, F/M, Gen, Part of Elleusive's Misfortunate Remnant universe, So yeah, Sorry not sorry Elle, The whole idea of Neo being in Elle's AU is non-canon, You know I normally give Ao3 writers so much shit for abusing the tags like this, probably not canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 15:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11038920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoneRampant/pseuds/GoneRampant
Summary: Inspired by Elleusive's Misfortunate Remnant AU wherein Qrow and Raven were picked up by Salem at a young age which causes the mother of all butterfly effects. Qrow's an enforcer for Salem who's fallen for Summer Rose- the last known Silver Eyed Warrior. Thing is, Qrow's not falling fast enough in Salem's eyes, and she's got this little ice-cream kid just lying around...Anything in full italics and speech marks is Summer 'talking' through writing something down on a notepad.





	Ice Cream Delight

A pent-up breath escaped Qrow's chest as he finally made it back to Salem's tower. The large, imposing structure built on the side of a cliff normally brought about dread and horror in those approaching it, but Qrow had been living here for a while. Honestly, it was like living under a freeway bridge- you just learned to tune out the annoying elements and lived with it.

Raven had taken up a corner in the lobby as Qrow slinked in, sharpening her sword on a whetstone. She nodded at Qrow as he walked by, and... he stopped mid step, foot hovering off the ground by a few inches as he turned back to his sister.

"You're smiling," he frowned. "When do you smile? Last time I saw you smile, I'm pretty sure a puppy died soon after."

"You have yet to hear then, brother?"

"Hear what? My scroll got trashed on the way back here."

The smile only seemed to widen. "Ah. Then I will not keep you. It's quite the pleasant surprise."

"I- wait, what- Raven!" But with a flick of her wrist, his twin and longest companion vanished with one of her damnable portals, leaving Qrow alone in the lobby.

Sighing as a headache began to build up in-between his eyes, Qrow stomped towards his room on the next floor. He had a simple list right now; shower, sleep, stab Raven, rinse and repeat until someone told him who died in front of Raven and why she was smiling. He was broken out of his reverie by a fit of giggling awaiting him at the top of the staircase.

Tyrian lounged along one of the banisters, snickering as Qrow approached. "Welcome home, friend. How was your trip?"

"I got thrown in a swamp, lit on fire and I'm pretty sure someone roofied me. Not a great time, truth told." Qrow leaned over Tyrian, quirking an eyebrow. "Answer a question for me."

"Anything."

"Raven. She was smiling. As in, a genuine smile like you see in the movies when they're talkin' about true love or some horsecrap like that. What's up with that?"

"The aforementioned swamp would have destroyed your scroll, I assume?"

Qrow nodded. "Nail on the head."

"So you didn't receive any messages in the past several days?"

"... No...?"

"Oh. Well, I'm afraid then that I've been sworn to secrecy by your sister. I assure you, Summer will be more than happy to explain."

Qrow pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tyrian..." he growled softly, "I have had a very long day. Please just tell me."

Sitting up on the banister, Tyrian sighed dramatically, throwing his tail behind him. "I am sorry Qrow. But I promised Raven. I repeat, Summer will happily explain everything."

Qrow stormed off without comment, leaving to the sound of Tyrian's giggles as they transitioned to full on laughter that filled the lobby. 

* * *

 

Qrow's room was his little bastion of sanity and safety. He kept it clean, he kept what he needed (Booze, clothes and ammo) neatly piled up. He knew where everything was, and he was lord of this domain.

And, on occasion, his domain became home to another- Summer Rose, the last of the Silver Eyed Warriors, rendered mute at a young age by Beowolves and former member of the Resistance dedicated to killing Salem. There was... something, there. Qrow wasn't sure if it was just meeting a woman close to his age that wasn't biologically related to him (or worse, Cinder) for the first time in a while, or if it was just that she was a hell of a fighter who could keep up with him no problem, but a part of him that he loved to drown in whiskey was thinking it was a genuine attraction.

The black-clad woman was sitting on his bed, notepad beside her as she... as she...

Qrow rubbed his eyes, backing out of the room before summer saw him.  _No. No no no no no._ Summer was _not_ holding a child with pink and brown hair. He... he had to be dreaming, right? Sure, he'd fooled around with Summer a bit, things had gotten hot and heavy, but...  _he hadn't even taken his pants off_! How did this even work? He didn't know how yet, but he was going to blame Hazel for this and beat him like a drum-set. 

Footsteps clicked on the hallway behind him as Qrow stood there in slack-jawed horror, mind running a mile a minute trying to find out how Summer got knocked up, came to term with a child, and raised them to be four or so years old while he was gone for a week. Salem stood beside him, the two watching Summer as she played with the equally mute child that looked... well, like one of those multi-colored ice-creams made human. 

"I believe Summer wishes to name her Neo. I came across her on one of my passionate walks through the woods, and I took mercy on the poor child." Salem smiled softly as if in on a joke. "It seems that Summer makes a good mother. Perhaps you could help her with caring for the child. It may inspire other, more carnal urges to rise."

And then the lightbulb clicked on in Qrow's vacant attic of a brain.

"You mean..." he said in a horrified whisper, "you kidnapped a child and gave her to Summer to try and convince me to have a kid with her?"

Salem's hand darted out like a snake, grabbing Qrow's chin and turning him to face Salem. 

"Kidnapping is such an ugly word. Now, I am a very patient woman, Qrow. I like to believe that I am, at least, given how wide-reaching my plan is and how I have to put up with the daycare that is you and the others in this cabal of ours. But for the love of all that is holy Qrow, you've been blueballing Summer for months!"

Qrow blinked. "What."

"So if I have to borrow a kid to get it into your skull to knock up Summer and give me grandkids, I will do so!" She let go, the hand that grasped his chin now affectionately stroking his cheek. "Now be a dear and go meet your new foster child."

Salem drifted off, leaving Qrow in the hallway. He groaned, resting his face in his hands for a long time. Maybe this was still a dream?

No, no, this was perfectly in line for his luck. He had Salem wanting grandkids and... yeah, she had to be off her meds. Squaring his shoulders, he stepped into his room.

* * *

It was an oddly silent mother-daughter relationship, Qrow observed as he watched for a little while longer. Qrow associated those kinds of things with a lot of cooing and mumbling, but looking at Summer, she looked... content. Like a piece of her had been missing since he'd met her (Qrow dimly remembered that she'd cared for some kid. Fall? Spring? No, Winter, that was it) and now that piece was settled. She was the picture-perfect definition of content. 

And Qrow... he had to admit, he wasn't against the _idea_ of having a kid. Kids were fine, in moderation, kinda like smallpox. It was just that this whole thing was being sprung on him, and Raven and Tyrian were laughing their asses off at the idea of him floundering like a headless chicken. Which, well, he was. But it wasn't funny!

Summer saw him, the silver-eyed warrior practically gliding over to him as she picked up her notepad and pencil in her offhand. Qrow found himself with a facefull of multi-eyed, multi-haired child, that curiously reached a hand out along his scars.

"Yes, Bright Eyes, I can see it just fine," he growled softly. Summer pushed Neo forward until he got the hint and picked up the kid, allowing Summer to begin writing. 

Qrow then realized with dread that he had now touched the kid, and could therefore not lie and claim he never knew about it.

"I mean," he muttered as she scribbled, "I can't exactly see how you can justify kidnapping a kid."

Summer hesitated, then wrote something else before returning to her first point.

_"It's not kidnapping if the parents are dead."_

Qrow seriously considered making for the door, but he was sure Salem had jammed the lock. Knowing her, she was probably on the other side now peeping through the keyhole, chanting "grandchildren, grandchildren, grandchildren." 

_"I was joking Qrow, relax. Salem found her out alone in the woods and brought her here."_

"Phew." He examined the small kid in his hands, turning her over and around like he was examining a bowl. She seemed to like it, judging by the excited smile as she was turned upside down and around. 

_"She seems to like you. Good. I'm adopting her."_

He abruptly stopped, eye twitching. "What."

Summer shot him A Look. _"Come on!_ Look _at her! I just want to hold her forever and ever! How can you say no to that face?!"_

He hesitated, turning Nero around and looking her right in the face, hoping it would be very easy to say no. Despite her young age, she stared straight at him with an intelligence and cockiness beyond her years; he should know, he'd been that hotheaded shit himself at her age. A slight smirk danced on her lips as the two stared at each other for a time. Unfortunately for Qrow, it wasn't easy. 

Again, he wasn't against the idea of kids- it was just that this was sudden- real damn sudden, and Qrow didn't like surprises, but between the look on Summer's face, and this kid seeming all right, maybe, just once, his luck could turn the other way.

Right. And Beowolves would learn to play Grifball. But what the hell, fortune favored the bold, or something like that. 

He sighed, tucking a loose stand of hair behind the kid's ear. "You're sure about this? You're ready to deal with this and all it'll entail?" 

Summer nodded, a little spark entering those enrapturing eyes. 

"Heh. Alright, let's give it a shot. I could use more help in pranking the shit outta Hazel and Cinder."

Qrow narrowly saved Neo's life when he raised her above Summer as the Silver Eyed Warrior surged forward, wrapping Qrow in a bear-grip of a hug. 

"Bright-Eyes... can't... breathe..." Qrow actually felt his Aura flare up as Summer exerted more pressure on his ribs before the SEW backed up, taking Neo out of his grasp, setting the child down on a nearby chair.

"You seem pretty good with this kid stuff," he observed, picking up her notepad from the floor and handing it to her. 

She shrugged.  _"I like kids. Simple souls are rare these days."_

"Well, I mean, if Salem's fine with it..." he trailed off, rubbing the back of his head. 

She gaped at him.  _"Wait, you mean..."_

"Yeah. I mean." The two smiled at each other. "Why don't we let Tyrian take care of Neo for a little bit? I've got some stuff I need to talk to you about, and, heh, well I don't think the little tyke-bomb needs to see this."

Qrow liked to imagine as he picked up Neo, ignoring the smile on Summer's face (And how quickly she went from the joyous smile of a mother to the sultry smirk of a temptress) and made for Tyrian's room that he could hear someone scrambling away, with a muttered cry of "Yes!" He tuned it out, like he tuned out a lot in this place. 

When most people saw Salem's tower, the emotions they felt were dread and a forboding feeling. When Qrow saw the tower, he saw where he got to know the love of his life, where he first laid eyes on his adoptive daughter, and where between the kid, the mute warrior, the perpetually drunk crow and whatever the ever-living hell Raven was in this twisted group of theirs, where Qrow finally found a new family. 

**Author's Note:**

> You're welcome Elle. I'm not sorry.
> 
> Well, I'm sorry that the ending is sappy bullshit, but I wrote it at one in the morning, and I'll probably edit it later.


End file.
